“Don’t get attached to moments. Good or bad, they all pass.”Yasmin Mogahed (via brazil-foreal)
And im drinking…Again! I cant sleep. My thoughts haunt me. Even when I sleep I dream of bad things. Just the other day, I saw the World come to an End! I saw smoke, I called it out. I showed a friend the smoke, for them to see it! They saw and out of sudden, explosions in the sky like a flower turning dry in milliseconds! You just saw fireballs and fire pits everywhere. In my mind, I cried. It was so fast. The ground broke to pieces…And I was falling to the center of the earth. I was falling to hell. I for once believed in a god. Could he have saved me? I thought to myself..but i knew it was late and I DESERVE what was coming to me. As i fell, I felt so alone and they came to mind. Ethan! MIA!! The tears couldn’t even build up from the heat. They evaporated as the memories did. All I could say is, “I’m sorry!” I saw the memories flash and disappear! I was falling and as they flashed…they were erasing at that moment as well. “What the fuck did I do? Why are my kids DYING with fear?!” I could have hold them and made them feel safe even if I knew the end was coming…Fuck! I landed. I felt the warmth building in my back as I slowly went in. I was sinking to my death. I feared that my kids would feel this pain. As I slowly felt the warmth overcome me…I didnt feel anything, NO PAIN! I was in flames. I was a human fire ball laying in magma with no sort of pain and the crazy part, THAT was the worse the pain I felt, I felt nothing! I was dying in a situation where others would be screaming in agonizing pain but I laid there, with no screaming, no feeling, no words.